#160 Ethan Jewell
"The idea of "feeling your feelings" has always been so important to me" Says Ethan on his website and in this podcast. Rae Leigh and Ethan get into a deep conversation about his inspirations, family and school life. Also exciting new things to come in the post Covid world.
Featured in this podcast: "It's getting Bad Again" and "Who Cares" Hear the full artwork on his links below.
Connect with Ethan:
Transcript
Rae Leigh: Welcome to a Songwriter Trysts with Ethan Jewell and slightly sick Rae Leigh I would like to get to know a little bit more about your musical poetry, which. It's actually a really new experience for me. I like to start by asking you as the artist, who are you and where do you come
Ethan Jewell: Yeah, of course. Well, first of all, thanks so much for having me on, and I am from?
Dallas, Texas, , in the United States, which I've lived here my entire life. Recently started as an artist back in 2019. It's funny. Cause prior to. I had no interest in music or poetry of any kind. Actually I hated the poetry section and my English class that I took my junior year of high school.
And then one thing led to another and, I started posting videos on Tik TOK. Suddenly I had thousands of people practically begging me to put my music out there, which was crazy. And I just kinda thought to myself, well, I mean, might as well, you know, and,
Rae Leigh: Yeah. Yeah. Why
Ethan Jewell: and before you know it, now I'm a releasing my third album. It's crazy how things happen.
Rae Leigh: it's crazy. So how did one thing lead to all that? Like why did you go from not liking or doing anything to putting it on to took.
Ethan Jewell: So what I really w what I didn't like, I was not a big fan, you know, in, in high school, you're taught all about like old poetry, which it's beautiful. It's art don't get me wrong, but it's hard to read, especially if you're younger and have no real connection to. it.
I mean, it's, it's tough to read thorough and Shakespeare and you know, all those guys,
Rae Leigh: it's hard to relate to.
Ethan Jewell: Yeah.
definitely.
But it really got me into, it was finding an emotional connection within it. Just like with any form of art, if you can get emotionally involved into it, it becomes a hundred times more special. And that came from, I want to say just after my junior year of high school, my grandfather had passed away not too long before that.
And, That's totally fine. I was, at the time I was dealing with some, with some emotional problems, surrounding that didn't really know how to deal with them. I opened my notes app one day.
I wrote out, essentially, a conversation with him. But it, it was, it was kind of in poetry form, without even realizing it.
And I wrote that out and I, I felt, I felt 10 times better. The moment I had that written out and down in my notes app. And, and I kind of had this, this moment where I went, oh, shit,
This is, really cool. I can emotionally processed Yeah.
Through, through poetry, through art and something just clicked.
And then ever since then I started writing and I started sharing and, it just became this amazing outlet for me. And I've just been using it as such, ever since and sharing it with other people,
hoping that it can be an outlet for them as well.
Rae Leigh: That's beautiful. That's what I was going to ask. Cause it's a lot of people find out a really therapeutic way to process their emotions, but it's a whole nother thing and it's very brave to share that with anyone. What, what inspired you to, know, put yourself out there and
be so vulnerable with your, your
Ethan Jewell: Well, I, I gotta say it's, it's not easy. I mean, you've got it. You nailed it. When you said it's a, it's a whole different beast to share it with other people. Still to this day, I've been doing this for almost two full years now, and I'm still nervous as all get out about my album coming out. I mean, I'm, I'm terrified.
It doesn't feel real,
Rae Leigh: know
Ethan Jewell: be honest. Yeah.
Really, it was just, shortly after, after a breakup, I made my Tik TOK account because one of my friends told me they were like, you should make one and like post thirst traps, and it'll help you get over them. Right. Cause, cause they'll have all these people like complimenting you. And
at first I was resistant to that idea, of course. But then I was like, oh.
Rae Leigh: yeah.
Ethan Jewell: So I started posting really embarrassing. I've gone back and deleted all of them because, oh man, I don't need that on my digital footprint, but a
Rae Leigh: what's a thirst
Ethan Jewell: thirst trap. It's essentially, it's a video where you're using your physical appearance to like, to like thirst people into liking your videos. Right. Or you like try to look sexy. yeah. It was, a bad period in my life.
Rae Leigh: That's okay. Everyone needs
Ethan Jewell: Yeah, exactly. What's, what's better than validation from strangers on the internet, right?
Rae Leigh: I know it's addictive. It's like, I don't even know why that it makes it feel so good.
Ethan Jewell: I guess, I guess, cause it's really like short-lived right. You don't have to like keep the connection, like they compliment you and then you never talked to them again.
And it's just like, there's no condemning. Anyways, I.
Rae Leigh: Just it's just like, lying to ourselves, isn't it?
Ethan Jewell: I slowly transitioned somehow from thirst traps to posting me playing the piano. And then I posted a video of me like singing, which I can't sing very well, but it was. And then just slowly, it? was like one day I was like, Yeah. why not? Here's this poem. I was listening to hobo Johnson a lot of the time.
I don't know if you've ever heard of him. He's a, he's a spoken word artist. One of the, one of the biggest spoken word artists out there.
I was listening to him a lot and I just kinda got inspired to throw piano over this poem that I wrote and I should.
Rae Leigh: Um,
Ethan Jewell: an overnight, it got like 80,000 likes or something crazy. And instantly, I just saw all these people who were, who were relating to it and they were talking about, wow, you've just described how I've been doing. It was, it was the poem, snow globe, which quickly became one of my biggest and people were talking about, yeah.
I like that feeling of being trapped in your head.
Like you're a tiny human trapped in a snow globe, you know, that's the whole
Rae Leigh: yeah,
Ethan Jewell: And I realized like, wow, a lot of people just need to hear this stuff. They just need to hear that somebody else is. Struggling mentally the same as them.
And eventually I, I almost got kind of hooked on that feeling of, of knowing other people could relate and knowing that other people felt understood
through that. Just kept posting ever since
Rae Leigh: so it's kind of like thirst, tripping, but for your soul instead of your
body,
Ethan Jewell: exactly. It's, it's an emotional third strap instead of a physical one.
Rae Leigh: but that's exactly what like is, but it, it is very brave and courageous, but it's beautiful to share as well. And I think that, that took me a really long time to actually like share my art with anyone, you know, like I would do it in my bedroom and like I had that emotional release, like you said, but, God, I wouldn't share that.
I think I was just ashamed of, you know, there's like a lot of shame around mental health. I don't know what it's like, where you are, like I'm in Australia and it's, even now, even that, like they have mental health days and they have like all this awareness stuff, but there's still like this deep seated shame of if you're not okay, that's your own fault kind of
Ethan Jewell: Yeah.
Rae Leigh: it's a
Ethan Jewell: I've thought about that a lot. Cause what we, what we do is we have these little romanticized, mental health things Like oh yeah. a little men, mental health days. And
self-care exactly all this kind of stuff.
If. Have depression. If you have bipolar disorder, if you have borderline personality disorder and mental health day and some blue ribbons don't mean shit to you. I mean, they don't mean a thing,
because we can, because we love romanticizing the idea of mental illness, like, oh, you're sad today. Drink some hot chocolate and read a book and you'll be okay.
Rae Leigh: Yeah.
Ethan Jewell: Yeah, and that's just, it's not realistic. We stray away from the realistic part of mental health and that is not showering for days because you can't get out of bed.
And that is, you know, not talking to friends and that is, completely not taking care of yourself or lashing out at people. And no.
nobody likes that because you can't romanticize that. So what, what we are doing is we are. Creating this culture of fake mental health help. And it is making people who are actually very mentally ill feel even worse because they're going, oh, well, shit, I'm trying these self-care things I'm taking, cold showers and I'm journaling, but I still feel bad, but people are saying this is supposed to help me.
Why, why do I still feel bad? There must be something wrong with me.
Rae Leigh: Yeah.
Ethan Jewell: ways it can, it can make it even worse, you know? And until we face the reality of mental illness, that is quite frankly gross and scary at times, we have to accept that. We can't just, you know, keep a little romanticized. Oh, you're sad.
We'll take care. Take care of yourself. You'll be okay. It's just, it's not realistic at all.
Rae Leigh: I think what I mean, and maybe this is something that you relate to as well, but like, I, I ha we have like Iowa K day and all these sorts of things. And I I've had, I have a really big mental health history and, you know, I hate those, but when I listened to art and I relate to someone I can hear, I can hear the darkness in their art, even if it's beautiful, it can be a beautiful, fun, upbeat song.
But if you can, if I can hear the darkness and the misery in that and the triumph in what they've been through as well, That makes me feel good. I relate to that. I feel, I feel like I can kind of hear some of that in you. Do you feel that?
Ethan Jewell: Yes, definitely. I would say one of my biggest goals Is to be as raw as possible. Within what I create, I think having, you know, a layer of,
of fakeness in a way, a lot of people in there creating art. They set off with very specific intentions about what they're going to create and they decide, you know, if it doesn't come out the way they want it to, then they haven't created good art, you know?
And I, I put heavy, heavy quotations on good art because I don't think good. I don't think good and bad art. Yeah. I don't think good and bad art
exists. I think there's simply art.
And so within what I'm creating, my goal is never for it to be. never for it to achieve a certain goal. Instead it is an attempt to express the most raw parts of me.
Because what I found is other people don't feel comfortable with those raw parts of themselves. Unless they hear or see somebody else being comfortable with it. So in a way, although the vulnerability is scary, you know, as you mentioned before with sharing it to others, it's all different things. It's scary.
It's it's yeah.
It's just nerve wracking. It's anxiety inducing to have strangers, you know, commenting on the deepest parts of you and hearing that. But at the same time, There's that beauty in it, you know, There's
a Rob
Rae Leigh: Yeah.
Ethan Jewell: it.
Rae Leigh: I think for me, that anxiety probably
comes from, what if no one else does feel this way? What if I am completely insane and it's gonna, I think the fear is it's going to make me feel like I've romanticized it or something like, like one of those mental health days, and then I'm going to feel even worse.
Again. I think that's kind of where it, maybe it comes from, but that hasn't happened so far, but there have, like, I don't know about you, but I definitely have. Very long messages and projections from people who are like, oh, you just need to be happy or you just need to get over it, like put some concrete in your coffee.
And it's helped me when I've received those sort of comments and things I think because it's helped me realize that it is just that I've triggered something in this person that they're not able to deal with. And so they're projecting onto me how they're dealing with
Ethan Jewell: Mm.
Rae Leigh: Which has maybe not very helpful.
But at the same time, like I haven't taken a fence, it's like, wow, I've actually been on a make that person put that, make that person question what they've done to deal
with their trauma or what they're going
through. You know, that like I'm doing it completely
Ethan Jewell: it's it's it's interrupted. Maybe I'm not, that's not how I want to say that. It's, it's almost, it's a set them in
motion maybe in a way. And you've been able to see
Rae Leigh: I don't know, interruptions a good one. Like painting, painting interruption is the strongest catalyst for change. And like, maybe that's what we need,
Ethan Jewell: Really.
Rae Leigh: because why would, why do you want to just suffer in that
suppressed mode of not being able to deal with
Ethan Jewell: that's the thing, something I
become very familiar with is, sadness or mental illness is really comfortable. It gets incredibly comfortable after a while, and that's why we see people not wanting to get help because, after a, while it consumes your identity, when somebody has. Lost themselves within trauma or hurt or sadness for long enough.
They don't know who they are outside of that.
Rae Leigh: Not
Ethan Jewell: and it's scary.
So Yeah, it's a lot more comfortable, to stay where you are and to stay in that place of hurt. And, like you said, you know, maybe that interruption, that awareness is exactly what
you need to jump out of that.
Rae Leigh: Yeah, absolutely. I am. I have three kids and they're all gorgeous and little, but I had really severe personal depression after all of them. And it was, that was scary because it's not just my life. It's, it's a baby's life as well. That's kind of impacted by that. And so I did get help as hard as it was. I did get help because it was their life, not mine.
That was important. And I remember I, that was the first time I ever took like antidepressants or went into sort of like mental health. To get some support. And after a three week stint of being on antidepressants for the first time in my life and, and getting some serious, like intense therapy, in hospital therapy, I remember we came out, I went on a holiday and we were kind of just trying to rebond cause I'd been away from the family for so long. And I remember feeling. Like genuinely just feeling joy
for the first time. And I think my entire life, like I could not, I don't, I didn't even know what that feeling felt like anymore. And just being able to feel that joy made me want to get help and made me want to continue to get
Ethan Jewell: That's beautiful.
Rae Leigh: which, you know, because I was really anti drugs and things like that.
And I was like, no, I'll be fine. You know? And yeah, I think that, you know, the antidepressants plus the talk therapy that I continued to do for like eight years, really, really helped. So
Ethan Jewell: so it was like in a way, in a way you almost got a wake up
call and you're like, all right, Like something
needs to change. Cause, cause, cause you couldn't, you couldn't just use
Rae Leigh: having a kid is a big
Ethan Jewell: yeah,
Rae Leigh: but.
Ethan Jewell: You can just keep using the excuse of, oh, it's just me, you know,
whatever. Now you're like, oh shit, like there's, there's more to it.
Rae Leigh: Right. Like my self worth. And the idea of what's the point in getting better because I'm not worth it. Like that kind of thought pattern was there. But as soon as I was responsible, Not just one or two, but three other human beings.
Like, ah, maybe, maybe I should do something about this. Maybe it's time
to get better. And, I obviously had some support and I think that's been a big thing for me as well. I used to do everything on my own. Like, you gotta be really independent. You gotta do everything on your own. Kind of that's a mentality that's really strong in Australia and. I dunno. I just realized it's like, actually, Hey, I wanna, I want to like have people in my life that I can trust and lean on when I need to, and that they can lean on me and have that closeness. That, yeah.
Ethan Jewell: Yeah, definitely.
Rae Leigh: Anyway, thanks for letting me share, tell me what about your journey? Like you said that, you know, your grandfather passed away, but like, I dunno, like what, what is your journey that has got you to, like, what was your relationship with your grandfather or was there other catalysts that made you
feel so deeply and connected to your emotions?
Ethan Jewell: there's, there's been, there's been a lot of things kind of building up and I wish I could give you just one. The vent or one, you know, trauma that had just bam and, oh, and then I became a poet and I became an artist and I'm, you know, it's, that's all bullshit. It's
Rae Leigh: Yeah.
Ethan Jewell: I've been taught my whole life. I've a wonderful mother. I've been so blessed with the most amazing mother. She taught me my entire life about the importance of. Knowing yourself, knowing your emotions, spreading kindness to others. You know, the, the idea of, yeah, the idea of the ripple effect was one of the first lessons that I remember her ever teaching me in life.
And just overall, she, she, she taught me to be in tune with my emotions?
which I'm thankful for it because that's a very rare thing that we see in, in men in America.
Rae Leigh: It is CA can I have your mum borrow your mum for a
Ethan Jewell: Yeah. rental mom. Um, yeah. And, and
so really from day one, I was taught that, but I found myself losing that part of me as I went into high school, because you know, I was launched into a cycle of people pleasing where I made a ton of friends and I realized that making them laugh was like the best thing in the world.
And I didn't want them to ever see any part of me other than the part of me that made them laugh. So for those four years straight, I did not allow myself to feel the single other emotion than that, that happiness and the outward joy that I learned was a rewarding behavior. And so I found myself almost like addicted to.
Feeling any of my feelings?
Rae Leigh: So you're worried. They wouldn't like you, if you
Ethan Jewell: yeah, yeah, exactly. I just wanted to people please. I didn't, I just wanted them to see me as this happy-go-lucky guy that never had any problems.
Rae Leigh: Yeah.
Ethan Jewell: and in reality, there is, there was a lot going on, I struggle with just straight chemical imbalance, you know, really No. no, cause to it, either passed down or I was just born with it.
I haven't thought you Arden it, about it because at the end of the day, what I feel is what I feel regardless of how I label it, you know?
Rae Leigh: Yeah.
Ethan Jewell: And so, Yeah.
There, there was the event of my grandfather's death that kind of jumped me out of that a little bit. And then it was really just a slow progression as I started writing.
After that and that I started sharing and then I just became more and more in tune with myself and my emotions and I wanted to write more and I wanted to learn more about myself. And I wanted to, you know, discover things like, why do I feel this way? Or why some days can I not get out of bed? And those kinds of things, because, I once I started going to therapy and I was diagnosed with depression and possible, rapid switching, bipolar, both of which aren't fun, aren't fun at all.
Rae Leigh: No.
Ethan Jewell: and so I've, I've really, I've turned to poetry as a form of understanding myself and as a form of expressing those. Those more harsh parts of myself that I never allowed myself to express. I was a bit younger, so that's, that's really been the journey, is just really allowing myself to, to feel these things and allowing myself to be more.
Then somebody who makes, you know, other people laugh, because while that's
great, there's so much more to life, you know, is
Rae Leigh: There's a time for every
Ethan Jewell: exactly, you know,
I think of it like the seasons, you gotta allow yourself to feel all the seasons. Cause I mean, without winter, you wouldn't be able to feel spring. You wouldn't be able to feel summer. And it's the same thing, you know, without sadness. Yeah. Without sadness, you can't feel happiness. If you can't, if you can't feel the negative, you don't even appreciate the positive.
Rae Leigh: Yeah, exactly. You don't know how dark it's been. You don't know what the light even is.
Ethan Jewell: Yeah.
Rae Leigh: That's absolutely beautiful. And I, I think the same with like in each emotion, there's like a dark and a light side, like with sadness when you feel it, it means you're able to have compassion for other people and grace
Ethan Jewell: Yeah. And that's a
Rae Leigh: you know what they're going through, you know? Yeah. It is beautiful. So just a little bit about your writing process, because this is a songwriting podcast and kind of thing. Is this something that you do entirely on your own? Have you ever sort of worked with other people on create. Your music.
Ethan Jewell: it has it's, it's been me, from the start. I'm a little bit protective, if anything, over my, my song writing. So no, I've, I haven't even let anybody else come close to touching anything I've written, honestly.
Rae Leigh: Fair enough.
Ethan Jewell: and that,
Rae Leigh: Have you ever saved any advice sort of around like what you're doing and growing what you're doing?
Ethan Jewell: Not really, I'm going to be honest.
It's, it's been, I kind of just stay in my own lane journey, figure things out for myself.
The biggest, I mean the biggest like advisor I have is my dad who, he's been making music his entire life. He, you know, as a hobby, never, made it in quotes, but, you know, as a hobby, pretty much ever since he was a teenager he's been in and out of bands, making music just loves to do it on the side.
So he's. The biggest supporter of me, he's actually my producer, ironically, which, which works great. Yeah, it works
Rae Leigh: your mom's your counseling advisor and your dad's your producer. Let's keep it all in house.
Ethan Jewell: exactly. I never have to leave. It's convenient.
Rae Leigh: Do you perform at all live?
Ethan Jewell: I have never done a show. I started, you know, just around COVID time. It's my first album. December, 2019, and then three months later we were locked down. Couldn't go anywhere. And only recently has live?
music come back. But I mean, that kind of segues, I guess I am going on tour in January of next year. So super excited about that.
Rae Leigh: How you feeling?
Ethan Jewell: Man, I'm nervous. I've uh, I've been spending so much time putting together my show. Cause now, you know, I'm two months out and I'm still like working on shit, like my set list. And
I'm thinking, Ooh, I am behind schedule or that
Rae Leigh: Oh, seriously, like going from doing what you tick talk to releasing and doing a show and then COVID and then to go back out and do like a tour. Oh my God. That's like. Yeah, that's epic. So just be, be compassionate to yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes. It's just cool. It's all
Ethan Jewell: Exactly. Yeah,
Rae Leigh: Yeah.
Ethan Jewell: The end of the day. I, it was funny. I actually, I totally wanted to play a show in Australia cause I actually,
Rae Leigh: you
Ethan Jewell: I have, uh, I have a weirdly large market in Australia. I think in my top 10, like largest
cities, like listener, I think three of them are Australia. And for.
Rae Leigh: It's probably cause we've all been in
Ethan Jewell: Yeah, exactly.
Rae Leigh: the last two
Ethan Jewell: Yeah. Sydney was my number one for about a month and not too long ago, so yeah.
Rae Leigh: That's so cool. Go Sydney rockin at number one. They've really not had it easy lately. They've been.
Ethan Jewell: Yeah. They, they, they need a good cry, huh?
Rae Leigh: Oh yeah. And you know, everyone needs a good cry sometimes, but I probably Sydney did Sydney and Melbourne. Okay. So I want to ask you, this is like a question that I sometimes ask people, and this is probably not going to take you back too far, but usually I'd say like, if you could go back in time knowing what you know now, and maybe talking, like, talk to yourself, you know, when you're going through that people-pleasing phase and just give yourself one piece of advice, would you say anything? What would you
Ethan Jewell: I mean, it would, it would just be, feel your feelings did. I mean, at the end of the day, that's something I
say to everybody, feel your fucking feelings. There's no reason not to it. It will only hurt you in the long run if you don't face What you're feeling now. I have a good friend, much older than me. She's I think of her as a mentor. And she had a pretty difficult childhood and only recently started getting into therapy now, about halfway through her life. And one thing she's she's told me is,
her biggest regret is not getting into therapy and facing what she's. Twenty-five years ago, that's her biggest regret because during that time it's, it's marinated and it's, it's gotten stronger. And those, the trauma has gotten worse as it's been just pushed aside. And now she's having to F to face it head on and, and she desperately wishes that when she was a teenager, she would have just faced it. And so.
Rae Leigh: she doesn't have to, she's choosing to, and I think that's really brave that she is because she wants something different.
Ethan Jewell: Cause, I mean, it's,
Rae Leigh: so many people don't.
Ethan Jewell: to run from
it forever. Because You know, you can feel, you can feel really shitty a lot of the times, but then whenever I, in the small period of time where you're feeling good, you'll think to yourself, oh see, I can still feel good. so you know, I don't, I don't need help. And most people they don't get help or they don't.
feel or face what they're feeling.
Until they're at the point of no return and until they've tipped over the edge and they need help. And so the biggest thing is his face that shit before it gets to the need point, like I'm a, I'm a big advocate. I think everybody
should, should have a therapist even when they're not going through
Rae Leigh: Yeah, me too. It's like a gym membership, right? Like you just need to have one.
Ethan Jewell: Because you know, People who go to people who don't go to therapy, make other people have to go to therapy. So
if everybody went to therapy, we wouldn't have that problem.
Rae Leigh: Yeah, all, we could just all be better friends to each other and actually be trustworthy and
Ethan Jewell: okay.
Rae Leigh: not have to like pay someone to keep our secrets.
Ethan Jewell: Right in the phone line.
Rae Leigh: finally. Yeah. And, and that's a hard thing, but it's like, okay, this person's job is to. Like, you know, protect me and listen to me and not judge and like that, that really should be like the job of a friend just in my, in my mind.
And then like, we've all been hurt by like gossip and backstabbing and stuff like that. And it's like, we can't trust anyone and that's kind of sad. But yeah, it's, it's good to have good friends as well, who we can talk to. But yeah, no, I think, I think that's really good and I think. From what you're saying, like feeling the feelings, asking yourself what the feelings are, what they really are, and going into the depths of those feelings, can be scary, but so worth it.
And like escapism comes out in so many ways and it is necessary to survive. Cause sometimes our emotions are too much to deal with at a particular point, but. My belief is if it comes up for you, then look at it. Don't suppress it.
Ethan Jewell: Exactly. You know,
Rae Leigh: Don't force it. but
Ethan Jewell: you, if you broke your leg, you wouldn't just keep walking on it. like normal, you would pay so much attention to it, and you would get the best medical help that you can, and you would arrest it until it's better because of your leg is important to you. So my question to people always is damn well, if your brain is broken or if your heart is broken, that is, that is vital to your life. So why do you not give it the same attention that you would give to a broken.
Rae Leigh: That's right.
Ethan Jewell: And that's something I love that analogy and people never have an answer to it that it li it leaves them stumped and they go, oh, wait, That's kind of like an oh shit
moment. Like,
Rae Leigh: I think before, like I was suppressed and like, you know, I was living in that, with that mosque on sometimes when I felt the pain. And I didn't feel like other people would understand. I kind of wish that I'd break my leg, you know? And I'm like, I wish that it was that, that it was something obvious that I could articulate and explain, and I feel like other people would go, oh yeah, I
Ethan Jewell: yeah. Yeah. I understand
Rae Leigh: leg. I can see it, you know, whereas it's like, Hey, I've got a broken heart. Or like, I'm feeling really suicidal or something that is like, not, not everyone can see it and say, not everyone can understand it or. And then, and then it can make you feel even more crazy if you don't talk to the right
Ethan Jewell: Sometimes it can feel impossible to, to explain it, you know, like I'm on, on my new album, I've got a track. It's the, the interlude. And essentially I recorded myself like ranting to one of my friends, just about what I was feeling and I, and I've put it over this instrumental, Nice. little interlude and you know, in it, I talk to.
I go to therapy and I have to just say, he's like, how are you doing? And I have to just go. I just feel sad. And they'll be like, why? I'm like, I don't know. I just, I just feel sad and trying to explain that to it to a friend can feel so, so impossible. And a lot of times it's so much easier to just go, oh, I'm fine then going, I'm sad. And I don't know why.
Rae Leigh: Yeah,
Ethan Jewell: it can be a hard thing.
Rae Leigh: yeah. I have one last question for you. And this is a question I asked. And I don't really know how this relates, for you and musical poetry. But, I like to ask everyone if you could work with, or co-write with anyone in the world living or dead, who would it be and why?
Ethan Jewell: I think it would be an artist called flat sound, who is an incredible. Singer songwriters spoken, word poet. He does it all.
Some of the best sad music I've ever listened to. I try to not allow myself to listen to them anymore, just because like, it makes me feel so much like sometimes it's kind of overwhelming, Incredible though. Definitely him. I mean his style it's very dark and
Rae Leigh: Yeah.
Ethan Jewell: yet. So elec, eloquent and beautiful at the same time. It's, it's really an incredible
mix of music. If you, if you haven't checked them out, definitely should.
Rae Leigh: I definitely will.
Ethan Jewell: that's great.
Rae Leigh: You mentioned that you said you try not to let yourself listen to it. I actually sent one of your tracks to a friend of mine. I was like, check out this guy. And, and he actually said the same thing. He was like, wow, that's beautiful and intense, but he's like, but I couldn't listen to it too much. Or I I'd get sucked into the darkness that he's trying to avoid,
Ethan Jewell: Yeah, I find that I feel heavily through music. So I have to, I have to be careful what I listen to sometimes.
Rae Leigh: But I think, I think it is good. Like you said, as seasons. And when you're feeling, when I'm feeling sad, it's nice to have something else like that helps me feel comfortable and accepted in those feelings. And then sometimes I want to go on a road trip and I want to feel great. I'm going to put on like something fun and exciting, you know? So like it, it's just different. It depends on where you're at and what you need to
Ethan Jewell: Yeah, absolutely.
Rae Leigh: what you're doing is. And very brave. Cause you know, it, we're all trying to share our emotions through our art. But I think, you know, these, these mental health messages and emotions are conversations that can be harder to have.
And you're putting it out there in such a beautiful art form that, I think you're helping a lot of people, so yeah. Keep doing it. sure you will anyway, but yeah,
Ethan Jewell: I will I I'm I'm
to be doing this as long
as I physically can. That's for sure.
Rae Leigh: Yeah. Is there anything else you would like to
share before we finish up?
Ethan Jewell: Oh man. I would just say to, to anyone and everyone who hears this feel, feel your feelings, man. Just, just feel those feelings. Don't deny it. If you need to cry, if I can let yourself cry. If you need to spend a day in bed, let yourself spend a day in bed. If you need to punch a pillow, punch a pillow, just, just whatever you're feeling. Good. Whatever, just fucking feel it, please. That's that's that's that's my final note. Just feel your feelings,
Rae Leigh: That's beautiful. We're actually in the middle of Movember. Do you guys have Movember over there?
Ethan Jewell: I haven't heard of that. No.
Rae Leigh: Movember is a mental health for men awareness month that Australia runs and all the men grow mustaches.
Ethan Jewell: Oh, wait,
Rae Leigh: it's a Mo.
Ethan Jewell: we have, no shave November and that's just, people want to grow mustaches. I don't think there's any mental health connection to it.
Rae Leigh: Oh, really? So Alice is like about mental health awareness for
Ethan Jewell: Or is this about just growing mustaches? I'll have to look that up.
Rae Leigh: go on.
Ethan Jewell: Maybe, maybe no. Shave November is about mental health and I'm just totally ignorant. I'm going to have to look that up. That.
Rae Leigh: Yeah, maybe we're doing that. I'm not sponsored by them or anything, but we're doing like a group, like try to build awareness. And I just thinking like, with everything you shared today, it's kind of ironically perfect for
Ethan Jewell: Yeah, there you
Rae Leigh: Thank you very much for jumping on and sharing and I'm, I'm going to put all of
your links and, you know, you'd take talking your Spotify and all that in the description of the podcast.
And they'll also be a featured blog on somewhere to Trista com. But yeah. Thank you so much for jumping on Ethan. It's been a pleasure and I really appreciate.
Ethan Jewell: me. I really
Rae Leigh: And I'm going to have to get to Texas and you're gonna have to come to Australia. And when you do let me know and I'll
Ethan Jewell: I will. Thank you.
Rae Leigh: All right. Take care.
